Lady KyKy
by FuckTheButcher
Summary: Stan comes back to South Park, to find Kyle whisked away to New York. When him and the guys watch The Hits, they find an old friend... Whether this becomes a Stan/Kyle or a Christophe/Kyle is up to those who review :3 Will progress to smuttt C:


Hey there ^^

The name's Peyton :]

This is my first fic, and I know the title's more than very tacky and unoriginal, but what the hey :3

I hope you like it, and I'd appriciate the heck outta you if you Review, and all that shiz :D

[Tell me if you want this to be Stan/Kyle or Christophe/Kyle, kay? C:

South Park had not changed much in the 2 years in which Stan Marsh had moved away.

The snow was still 2 feet deep, Kenny McCormick still lived in a poor excuse for a house, and Cartman was still lusting over girls he couldn't get.

But Stan knew why it didn't feel like home anymore.

Kyle Broflovsky had moved away.

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"STAN!?" I found myself with an arm full of Kenny.

"Kenny! Woah, dude, I can't breathe!" We laughed as he drew back and punched me on the shoulder.

"So...You're back? For good?" His face still hadn't lost the face-splitting grin he'd adorn since he launched himself at me.

"Yeah, I mean, I guess." I smiled, "So, how's it been?"

"Oh, man. Well, for a start, Craig and Tweek finally hooked up, and they own the Harbucks now. Umm, Wendy's still here, working at the Borders that just opened up. Oh, DUDE, you will never guess where Butters ended up!" At this, he cackled, "RAISINS! HAHAHAHAHA, ohh God...haha!"

"Haha, yeah...So, what about Kyle?" At this, Kenny stopped laughing.

"Oh. Well, you know... He moved away to New York..." He sighed at this, "With Christophe."

"WHA!?" Oh, HELL no. Christophe? The...The MOLE? Seriously?!

"Yeah. When you left, 'Tophe moved in a few months after. He and Kyle hit it off pretty much immediately, and they moved in last year, right after graduation. I don't know why though, since they moved to the Big Apple two weeks later."

Holy SHIT.

"H-have you heard from him?" I REFUSE to mention that French piece of scum.

"Yeah, um, he rang this morning, actually. He said to watch "The Hits" at 4:00. It's 3:30 now, and me, Craig and Tweek are going over to Cartman's to see what the fuss is about, if you wanna come. Must be pretty important to call me over it, though... He usually only calls once every month." He shrugged it off.

"Yeah, I'll just tell my mom." I smiled, and went to find my parents. Wondering what the hell Kyle would have to show us on a channel like that. Celebrity news? Maybe he was in the back ground of an interview? After all, he does live in _New York_, I thought bitterly.

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"Dude, give me the remote! Cartman!" Kenny shrieked.

"Make meh, Kenneh! Jump fer et, piece uh crap!" Cartman laughed, as he held the object highed.

I walked over, sick of the yelling, but mostly just impatient to see Kyle again. I knew, something about, uh, him, that the others didn't. I wanted to see if it was obvious now. Also, maybe ogle a little, but whatever, you're just jealous. I plucked the remote from Cartman's chubby grasp, and turned the channel over to "The Hits".

"Shut up, you fucktards! You're scaring Tweek!", he held Tweek's face gently, "Now watch the damn channel!"

We shut up at that, because Craig can be pretty damn scary.

The tv showed a few adverts while Cartman and Kenny fought under their breath, and I didn't really want to know what Craig and Tweek were doing. After the advertisments had ceased their pointless grip on my brain, an announcer, well, announced a new act storming the music charts, named "Lady KyKy". Oh fuck no, was the only thought passing through my head.

"Shhhhh! Look!" I quieted everyone, as an electronic beat filtered through the tv.

The announcer told us that, the song was called Poker Face, and then without much warning, there, s-he was. And, I must say, Kyle had matured. Very well. He-his extremely feminine figure was shown beautifully in the leather catsuit, his bright red, shoulder length ringlets [tamed years ago] a brilliant contrast to Emerald Eyes and the black of the clothing [can it really be called clothing?].

"What the FUCK?!" Was pretty much the cry of everyone in the room.

"Is that...Kyle?" Craig asked.

"Yeah. Yeah it is." Kenny said, a knowing look on his face. He switched his gaze to me, and we exchanged a nod of understanding. Apparently the secret was no longer only mine and Kyle's.

"Guys...We have to tell you something about Kyle." Kenny started.

"You see...Kyle...Is a girl." I let out a deep breath.

"Pah! I knew that! Hahaha!" Cartman guffawed by himself.

"B-but h-he's always been a b-boy! Even t-though h-he looked l-like a girl...AHH, WHAT IF YOU'RE ALL GIRLS, AND YOU'RE TRYING TO GIVE ME THE DISEASE WHICH MAKES GUYS RANDOMELY TURN INTO GIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRLLLLLLLLSS!??!?!?" Tweak cried.

"Shhh, it's okay Tweekers." Craig glowered at us as if it was our fault his boyfriend was a spastic freak.

"No, guys. Her name is actually Kyara. And I KNOW she's a girl." I blushed.

I could see Kenny looking hard at me. Kyle had obviously told him what had happened. I turned back to see Cartman leering, and I just knew he was gonna ask how, when-

"Guys! H-She's actually a great singer...And, fuck, is she hot. I'd tap that, man. I'd tap that for dayyys." Tweek sobbed at Craig's words, and I saw them have a quiet exchanging of words, after which they were both smiling again. I turned back around to see- [Why must I always be interrupted?]

"Cartman! Get your damn hands out of your pants! Gross! Don't you realise that's KYLE? Remember? The Dirty Jew Rat?" Kenny raised both his eyebrows.

"But KENNEH! Kahl wesn't a het geerl befuure! Dewd, lek et these ti-"

"Cartman! Shut the fuck up!" I yelled.

After that, everyone unanimously decided to watch Kyle [It seemed...Awkward to call her Kyara.] dancing [Which included the unabashed moving of hips, which no one was opposed to.] and singing on tv, in increasingly less modest outfits. Boy, had she grown up.

After it was over we all held in a disappointed sigh, and sucked in a breath, when The Announcer [she has quite a big part in this, huh?] said that "Lady KyKy" would be doing a tour, then listing the tour dates. Apparently, there was one in Denver and...South Park.

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I'll be updating soon if the people like it ;D

Ps. Just so ya know, smileys are like...punctuation, for me. :P


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